Most of you are aware of the death of my dearest friend Joe who died February 12, 2007. I have struggled with this loss and many days didn't know if I was ever going to make it through, but I have! I would like to share a couple of poems that I wrote during those dark times I had. But let me just say that Joe was a very loving Man and we shared a friendship that others will not even come close to if they had many lifetimes to acheive it. He was my best friend, my guiding light during dark times and my venting post. I will always love and miss him dearly. The plaque in front of his headstone reads, "True Friendship is not seen through the eyes, it's seen through the heart."
Below is the first poem I wrote after his death. I entered it in a poetry contest and a publisher contacted me by mail wanting my permission to publish it in a book. I declined, at least for now. This poem is dear to me and I hope it will reflect what Joe means to me.
Left Behind
Life is precious like the sun rising over the early morning dew or a full moon shining down on an open field covered with the first frost
Life is precious like the first kiss with your first love or like marrying your high school sweetheart
Life is precious like a hummingbird drinking from nature’s sweet nectar or watching squirrels playing in the trees
Life is precious like a sweet smelling rose or like watching new life busting from the seams at the beginning of spring
Life is precious during each changing season, like the first snow, the first spring shower or the first turning of colors at the beginning of autumn
Life is precious like the new birth of a precious baby or the knowledge of someone seasoned with life
Life is precious when you have a lamp post to guide you through the dark times, yet life can be fleeting when you can no longer see the light
Life is precious when you have a love that is everlasting that sees no wrong and is not judgmental
Life is not the same when the sun doesn’t seem to shine as bright and the moon doesn’t have that shimmer
Life is not the same when your first love can no longer be seen, touched or found and life is not the same when the colors of that hummingbird seems so grey
Life is not the same when the roses don’t smell as sweet and the blooms of spring don’t seem as full
Life is not the same when the lamp post that has guided you for so long has gone out and you feel you can no longer find your way
Life is not the same when the everlasting love has ended and you can no longer reach out for it
Life is not the same when the change of the season is just another adjustment in life and you fight to enjoy the simple things
When life begins to feel empty and numbed by the pain of losing the love of your life it is at that very moment you realize that YOU are the one left behind
Author Debra Bunt
I am getting past the initial grief of losing Joe but each day is still a struggle. It's a struggle not to cry, not to want to pick up the phone and call him. It's a struggle at times to forgive him for taking his life and not thinking about what would happen with me without him in this world. But, time goes by and the world did not end the day he died. I will learn to live without him and will move on. It's coming up on the 1 year anniversary without him. I know he is in Heaven with my Mom and Dad who also loved him very much.
