Saturday, August 23, 2008

Living with Fibromyalgia

I want to take this time to talk about my illness and how it has forever changed my life. The butterfly is the symbol for Fibromyalgia Awareness!

I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, during the Fall of 2007, so I am fast approaching 1 year. This has been a very hard year for me as well as for the ones that I love and who love me.

I don't have the energy I use to have to do all the things that need to be done. I had to leave my job last year due to my illness and I have felt at times that I don't contribute to my family as I have in the past. Like I said, I don't have the energy! Somedays the fatigue is so severe that I could just lay in the floor and sleep for hours, however it's getting to the floor that is also a problem.

I am a member of an online support group on Yahoo and it has been a life saver for me at times. There I have met many people from all over the World and we have one thing in common, Fibromyalgia. We referr to Fibromyalgia as the Beast! There is a very sweet lady in the group who lives in Lufkin, which is only a short drive for me. I went and visited with her on day and she is such a joy. She still continues to work and has 2 kids who she just adores. I admire her so much because even on those days that it takes her 3 hours just to get to where she can walk and function she still goes into work as an RN. I am sharing the following letter that she has put togethter and shared with us Fibromites. I think it really hits on all of the aspects of how we feel and some of the things that we have to deal with daily. This doesn't mean that I feel the readers of my Blog think Fibromyalgia is not real. I just thought I would share this so that you would know and understand the hardship that is placed on many each day.

I am very fortunate to have a group of doctors who believe in Fibromyalgia, as most still don't. I am also very fortunate that I have a loving husband who has been there for me through it all and has been there to wipe my tears and tell me it's all going to be okay. I am very fortunate to have a wonderful support group of family and friends who have been with me at doctor appointments, test and have driven me where I needed to go on days that I had such a fear of driving. I love each of you so very much and I don't know what I would do without you! May God Bless each of you and may He continue to be with each of you. We are all so loved by our Lord and Savior!

You can also visit the following websites for more information regarding Fibromyalgia.

www.fmaware.org www.lyrica.com www.nfra.net www.fibromyalgia.com

The following is written by Debra V of Lufkin, Texas. I have her permission to post this to my blog.

I am a 44 year old registered nurse. I want to share a few things about my experience with fibromyalgia and add a few known facts about this illness. I never ever desired to become ill. I have always been a worker and have worked since the age of 18 years old. I use to consider myself healthy. I had the ambitions of becoming a nurse and fulfilled that ambition. It is not the easy way out to earn a degree. As a matter of fact many that enter nursing school fail or quit because of the constant stress and knowledge it requires to graduate. I graduated with a 3.8 GPA with honors in 1992. I went to work as a nurse and have continued until this day. (I tell you this because if you think that most of us are "do nothings" and are lazy or crazy... you are wrong). During my course of study, I never had the word "fibromyalgia" mentioned. It still falls short of the curriculum in most nursing schools now. However, the Medial Association has just recently added fibromyalgia to the medical school curriculum. So, I did not make this illness up and never just decided one day to become a lunatic or a lazy hypochondriac to "get out of life's" responsibilities. I also am NOT a druggie. I had ONE prescription drug until the age of 39 years old. This illness is very real. It is stigmatized worse than AIDS ever was. We (the approximately 10-15 million Americans with this illness) are laughed at, gossiped about, and are made the subject of skepticism. So, fibromyalgia would not be the diagnosis one would make up if they wanted any sympathy. Think to yourself...WOULD you want this diagnosis? I suspect not. Many of us affected by this illness would rather not even tell about it because we know that at least half the people we discuss this with will label us, ostracize us, doubt us, and just plain not believe us. I would make up something else if I wanted to lie about being ill. I would make up something that people would believe if it was all a big hoax. From a young age I noticed I required more sleep than others. I just brushed this off and paid no attention to it. I went to my doctor in my early twenties about "being tired" all the time. He just told me to "exercise more". I did that. It made no difference. (Tired has now progressed to chronic exhaustion). This illness was mild back then. I also developed numbness and tingling in my fingers that would come and go. I ignored this too. I would experience times when I would ache everywhere and would just say "I must have a virus". I never once thought I had a chronic life altering disease. This illness affects people in very different levels of severity. Mine progressed. They say it won't, but it does. In my late 30's while I was still working just like now, I became very ill with a flare. I had no idea what was going on. I felt like I was going to die. I had pain in my hands that lasted for about 4 weeks so severe I would cry. The numbness and tingling I had for years turned to burning pain. I was more than tired. "Tired" would not describe the exhaustion no matter how much I slept or how little I slept. My knees began to hurt to the point I could not get in and out of a tub without help. I was hurting all over to some extent. The stiffness of fibromyalgia also sat in about that time. Stiffness all over to the point I could not get out of bed without help. "Fibromyalgia" was a word I had NEVER heard. But I was diagnosed by my family practice physician a few weeks later. I am one of the lucky ones inthat I have a doctor who knows that fibromyalgia is real. Many suffer this without anyone to help them. I have never been the same since that flare that lasted about 6 weeks. I still work with much difficulty and have to support two young kids that came late in my life. Believe me, if I could quit work, I would. I push my body beyond its limits. I suffer pain now on some days that is probably equal to that of a cancer patient. I look like I have a hangover at work most days. (I do not drink). And believe me, these symptoms were all there before I ever went on any medication. The balance and coordination problems were there. The concentration problems were there. But without medication, I would not be able to work. Not because I enjoy paying for all the meds and doctor appointments out of pocket with no insurance. Not because I am "addicted" to pills. But if not for the medications, I would be bedbound now. The meds do not get me "high" and they actually help me to function with this disease. So, just because you cannot see this disease does not mean it is not real. Research is putting pieces of the puzzle together now. There are facts out there which are documented by research. The whole picture has not been put together yet. But it is a disease of the Central Nervous System. FIBROMYALGIA is REAL. Sleep studies show that fibromyalgia patients never reach the deepest level of sleep. Stage 4 sleep is absent. Studies also have shown images of the brain in people with this disease. Those images prove that even light touch or pressure on our body IS interpreted by the brain as PAIN. They have also proven by brain imaging that every stimulus such as light, sound, touch, and smell are magnified in people with fibromyalgia. It is described as the "volume being turned up" in our central nervous system. Studies also show that something called "substance P" in the spinal fluid is present in higher amounts than "normal" people. Substance P is a chemical that has to do with processing pain in the central nervous system. I would urge you to please, out of humanity, to read some facts about this illness before you assume your co-worker, friend, or family member is a hypochondriac. And please consider also that most of us do not fit the mold for being a liar or lazy. Many many of us have educations, have had or have businesses that are lucrative, and have worked all our lives. Many of us have burned the candle at both ends for years. We were not sitting on the couch eating bon bons. Also, many many I have talked to the past 5 years have lost homes, relationships, and careers because of fibromyalgia. None of us enjoy losing life as it once was so we can "make up" an illness that you cannot see but WE certainly can feel. I do not enjoy the inability to participate in my children's lives as they grow up. I have to stay home and rest while I miss countless activities in their lives due to severe pain and exhaustion. All I can do is work to make the living and come home and collapse most days. I do not enjoy handing all the resposibilities over to my husband because I am too damn sick to take care of my kids after working. I am not a hypochondriac, a liar, a "drug seeker", or an attention seeker. I am a victim of a disease called "fibromyalgia" . I get no sympathy. I carry the same load at work that any other nurse does. I get no assistance from the government and CANNOT even apply for disability. No one can apply for disability while they are requred to keep PUSHING their body to work. So what do I gain from this illness? Nothing but the risk of skepticism and redicule. Debra,R.N.


Saturday, August 9, 2008

Has it been that long?

Wow! I see that my last blog was sated April 2008. I am so very sorry!! things have been up and down for this family, mainly me since April. Our precious grand daughter is fast approaching 9 months old and next March she will be greeted with a new baby brother or sister. katie Bug is not only crawling at the speed of light now, but she is pulling up on everthing she possibly can. When she is with me I have to baracade her from the kitchen and close all the doors in the hallway. She is just int everything and at times can be more than I can handle. I was just looking and I don't have any of her pictures uploaded to my computer so I am really behind on things.



Bubba and Amy's wedding was beautiful! It was set at a Country Club just South of Gladewater and was at pool side with the reception inside the club house. It was the most beautiful wedding I have ever seen. Amy left no detail out when it came to their wedding.



Bubba and Amy have purchased a home in Gladewater and have made many improvements since they bought it. It is a cute starter home and it's style is nothing but Country! You have got to love that!!

Jeff & I gave them 2 acres of land a couple of miles from here where they will someday build their dream home. A Satterwhite Log home that is just awesome. I know they will accomplish all they set out to do, they are so intune with each other and have so many of the same goals they want out of life. They are both hard workers and they scrafice to acheive their dreams.




This is the setting where they exchanged vows and rings and made their lives into one. Although it was a hot day, the air was filled with love and enthusiam. Over 200 people were there as they watched Bubba and Amy combine their lives and their families. Jeff & I just adore Amy's Mom and Dad. Her Mom works at the same school, where Amy teaches and her Dad is a retired police chief from Gladewater. They are just awesome Christian people.




Jennifer was the bridesmaid and she was just beautiful all dressed up! Bubba's Uncle Doyle was best man and you know, he cleans up pretty well!! ha!!! It was just a precious time and yes, I cried like a leakey water hose okay?? Not that there's anything wrong with that! I am just so thankful that they have found each other and their love is strong and I know it will help them to overcome any problems they may face in the future. It's so refreshing to see people in love. Bubba and Amy will be blessed with many years of happiness and Jeff & I will be blessed with more grandchildren. Don't you think they will ahve some beautiful children? Look at them, Bubba is so handsome and Amy is so beautiful!!

Amy is a first grade teacher at Gay Avenue in Gladewater and Bubba is still driving them big trucks and is hauling mud to oil rigs. He stays really busy and doesn't have much time off.


After the reception and the bouquet was tossed and the garder was thrown, Bubba and Amy headed to the mountains of Tennessee where they spent 7 days of happiness. They say it was beautiful there with cool nights and wonderful days. They brought back with them memories that will last a lifetime.


This is a picture of their entire wedding party. The two little flower girls are twin girls that Amy took care of while she worked at the daycare and last year during her first year of teaching she was blessed to have one of them in her class. They just think Ms. Amy hung the moon and they love Bubba as well.







Jennifer and Michael are living in Tyler now and have their own little home. Katie has her own room with Winnie the Pooh all over it and their bathroom is done with frogs! It's just a precious home and I am so proud of Michael and Jennifer. They are doing great with Katie and it shows, she is just a happy baby. Jennifer and Michael are expecting another child in late March or Early April. We are all so excited about the new addition to the family. Michael works with Apex and I believe they go out and test soil before any drilling or building is done on property. He has obtained his CDL license and is looking for a truck driving job to make a better life for his precious family.



Tomorrow all of us "girls" in this family are going out to eat! Yep, this town will never be the same again. It's myself, Donna, Pam, Shawn, Jennifer, Amy and her mom Nancy. We are all ganging up on Gladewater are are going out to eat and just have a pow wow of sorts!! You know, solve all the problems of the world in one sitting!! It's going to be great and I can not wait!


As for Jeff he is still with Delek Oil and Gas Refinery in Tyler where he works as an electircian. I hate him working there. Anything could happen at any moment. Last night, I found out they had an acid spill and the affects were felt through out the plant. It was inhaled my many including Jeff and he has complained with a sore throat. It's just a very danerous place to be at any given time. He is trying to move up in the company so he doesn't have to work as hard as he does. In June they sent him to West Virginia for 2 days to look at some equipment they may be purchasing. Jeff will be the one to hook it all up and ha to understand how it works inside and out. It's very stressful for him and for me since I worry like I do. This month they are sending to to Illinoise. There he will see another piece of wquipment and basically have to learn it inside and out. Jeff hates to fly and I hate him traveling but I guess it will all be okay. His work is helping to pay our bills.


I still suffer from Fibromyalgia everyday and somedays are worse than other. Everyday I have pain throughout my body, but I manage to make it through. I have been placed on Lyrica which is a God's send for me. I have missed only one dose of my meds and boy, did I pay for that. I hurt so bad all I wanted to do was lay in bed and cry because the pain was deep within me, almost down to the bones. I don't wish Fibromyalgia on anyone!! My last visit with my Neurologist was such a downer for me. When I made it back to my car I sat there and cried. I had asked him how much longer he felt it would be before I could return to work. He said, "No way, No how!" He told me that I needed to pursue my SSI benefits aggressibly and that he would do anything he possibly could to help me. He wrote a letter to Allsup, who is helping me obtain my benefits, and stated that I suffered from severe Fibro with severe fatigue and pain. He also stated that due to my severe fibro and pain I would not be able to hold a job of any sort. I cried because I have always worked and I worked very hard at whatever job I was doing. I have never had to depend on anyone to take care of me except me! Now, I have to fight to receive the benefits that I so despartly need. I have been turned down twice and was even told by SS that I was able to return to my old job as security job at UT. In other words, they didn't believe I was sick enough not to work. Fibromyalgia also makes my hands and feet fall asleep and my sleep is distrubed all during the night so I never ever get up feeling rested. I get up tired and usually early morning like 4am and I feel like crap! I also suffer with severe back problems which seem to be improving. However the 2 herniated disc in my neck have been bothering me and I really don't want to take anymore shots. The shots have not worked any have only helped to put weight on me when I didn't need anymore added weight.


This picture is of Jeff, me and my sister Donna! She has done wonders with losing weight with weight watchers and I am so very proud of her. I think she is just a couple of pounds away from losing 80lbs! You go Donna!!










My sister Pam was with her mother in law and was rear ended by another vehicle traveling at a high rate of speed. They are now having severe neck and back pain.



My brother Ronnie and his wife Shawn have sold their home and are in the process of building a new home closer to her parents home since her Dad is in really bad health. They are pouring the foundation today and the framing should begin on Wednesday next week. I kow they will be glad to get into their new home soon!

I hope this finds everyone well and I love each of you so much. I also have a myspace account and you can see more pictures and more blog postings there. It is http://www.myspace.com/debrabunt


ENJOY AND MAY GOD BLESS EACH OF YOU!